Plop

What's the etiquette when dropping things in the loo?

Surely most people just curse uner their breath, hope that noone was in close enough proximity to hear a louder than ususal plop and retrieve the item, never to give it another thought.

Not me. I'm scarred.

I shouldn't be allowed a mobile phone. I think I average around three drops per day, most of those onto roads or into sticky piles of jam left lying around the kitchen bench by some charming flatmates.

Previous precipitous falls from grace for my poor blower paled in comparison after it worked its way out of the snug pouch that is my Zara cardi pocket and plummeted a fatal thirty centimetres to clunk and clatter around the bowl and then PLOP into the loo water.

WaaaaaaH! The wambulance was called in and after a quick howl and hmmpf! I reached down, tights around knees (lucky I hadn't 'started' otherwise it might have been too late to stop and then a true catastrophe would have occurred) and popped my timid phalanges into the toilet water.

Even when it's clean, there's something inherently gross about loo water. It was like a near death experience where, instead of my life flashing before my eyes, images of the posteriors of my work colleagues doing their business ran like an old movie on fast forward through my skull.

Moral to this story. Lucky I didn't buy an iphone. Oh and don't try to call me. The handset's having a holiday in the hot water cupboard.